so... i know i'm a few days from being 38 weeks... and i have been planning on having this baby late all along; but i have changed my mind. don't get me wrong- my list of projects to do is still long... but i feel like whats left doesn't really have to be done. i just want to meet my baby girl. and i don't want to be pregnant anymore... lets get this show on the road, you know. i looked at my calendar and decided that i could handle another week b/c i have a couple of fun things planned- including a much needed hair appt.--- but after that i'm ready. i'm even considering packing for the hospital! for some reason i have an aversion to packing for these special occasions... my sisters were irritated w/ me b/c i had hardly packed for my honeymoon and so they had to dig through the back of my car to find shoes and other random things that i hadn't quite gotten around to packing ;-) and i had some stuff packed for the hospital w/ elisha- but not everything...i should have finished packing when i could still think, in early labor... but i guess i felt like that would jinx it or something? anyway, this time i want to have things packed well and i want to be clean... having a marathon labor and then surgery and a long hospital stay was not conducive to showering--- and i can tell looking back at those pics ;-) i know it sounds superficial, but i think i would've felt better had i not looked so raunchy!
while we are on the subject of labor- i wrote down some lyrics from my favorite band-over the rhine- i want to think of these while i am laboring " though we love to numb the pain, we come to find that it's in vain. pain is our mother- she makes us recognize each other" i have been rereading "birthing from within" and while some of it can be hokey and the birth art stuff certainly isn't for everyone- it is really great to think of our perception of pain... one suggestion she has is to be very curious about your pain, notice where it stops and stops, how it changes... if you are so bold to do that you can take the fear out of the pain and then it isn't as bad.
one last note-- another quote from "over the rhine" that i will be hanging on to- in labor and the months following ---" ...listen to me baby- we can sleep when we're dead..."