down in the dump

we have been having a tough week here. i think some of it is just the natural trough after the high of birthday month... and speaking of birthdays -- my two children, who are now officially a year older, have decided to do various things they must think are indicative of older children.

anna is a climbing maniac. every time i turn around she is on a kitchen chair about to climb onto the table, or climbing up the outside edge of the stairs-- you know, the part i can't baby gate her away from! she has also decided that she is old enough to use a fork and spoon by herself. for a while now if she had anything utensil-like (a pretzel stick for example) she would try to use it to scoop up food... the past few days she has taken it to another level. i gave her some pasta salad, the perfect finger food = macaroni noodles, kidney beans, chunks of cheese... she refused to eat it. i thought she must not be hungry, so i put her down.... next thing i know she has climbed into elisha's booster seat and is trying to eat his leftovers with his fork!

elisha has decided that big boy three year olds don't need diapers or pull-ups during their naps... that hasn't always worked out so well...but the worst is that he isn't really even taking naps at all. he is repeatedly coming downstairs... i'm at the end of my rope. and i'm realizing that i feel entitled to a few hours of free time every afternoon. i don't know how to make it with out that time... i kind of want to quit my job... but i kind of can't.... something's got to give and i know that it is my attitude. and then maybe i will be able to train him to at least stay in his room for an hour rest time...i have to accept that the 2-3 hours i used to get, while wonderful, just wasn't meant to last forever. excuse me while i pout a little... on another note, remember that wonderful side effect being 3 had on e? he was obeying w/out fussing b/c he was a big boy 3 year old... well that has gone out the window this week. apparently 3 year olds are their own boss, they yell "no" to their parents when told to do something... maybe the naughtiness is related to the nap boycott...

these things are enough to make life a bit hard around here, but there is something else that is weighing our hearts down right now... we lost andrew's dear mama mae a week ago and while we rejoice at the thought of her dancing in heaven, we just miss her so much that it hurts. i'm having that heavy chest hard to get a deep breath feeling right now... but maybe later i'll share some of the interesting questions e had about it all.